Reminds me of the emptiness i left

Being nostalgic is always a good thing. you get to savor the stupid and dumb things you've done back then, then move forward, becoz that's the only way you'll make memories.

like i told a friend.

everyone has a past they can hold on to, they got somewhere where they can live comfortably in and never need to move forward. its like a marathon, but on the way they find that secluded place that is more tempting to be in than to finish the run.

its called being sidetracked. but in our world right now, who cares about that? all they want is to fulfill their needs, be with materialism that they're happy about, all just to stick to their comfort zone. what can i do? i can't blame them for not moving forward. i can't be a critic about why they choose to stop running and just sit down there, happy watching the sunset that's so beautiful from that place.

and unlike the rest, i'm always moving forward. sometimes i take a step back or two, retrace my route, but i push on. should i be? why not? i don't have a favorable past i can lean on. to be truthful, none of my past has been great. your darkest wouldn't compare to mine.

friends always have problems. friends always got something they have to settle, something worth arguing about, something worth being better of, being the best of. friends always got goals and targets and things they want to accomplish. but so far, many of them are short-term. one which i don't quite have.

there's only one dream i will pursue, whether it will make me penniless or not. while i'm walking forward toward it, the rest have become accustomed, used to their own short-terms and stopped walking forward, living in the past.

people always have a problem. that problem always have a solution. that solution, is what makes them ok, makes them happy to stay where they are. a problem is created by oneself. trust me, think enough, you'll understand. so what's stopping people from moving forward? ourselves.

you know, frankly, maybe i'm exaggerating, maybe i'm exploiting some thoughts of mine too seriously becoz of possible recent events.

but, whenever, i see people with problems, most namely relationships, all sorts, i can't help but feel really sad for them. maybe its like a double-edge sword as well. i don't have that kind of problems. i wish i had, make my life abit more interesting.

but the thing is, while everyone has their own burdens, i see none as a problem except not having one. being proud, haughty becoz i seem superior? but if it enables me to move forward, then that's good enough for me.

so, while everyone is staying back, relunctant to move forward, unable to, don't wish to, comfortable being back there, i'm moving forward.

and in metaphorical sense, this moving forward means this. one day i'll look back and find that there's no one behind me becoz they're too far behind to be seen.

loners are derived from three aspects. not moving forward at all, stuck in the middle, and moving too fast. i'm the third.

and its probably this fact about me, which i've come to realise, that probably won't allow me to stick onto any place easily.

and like so many, so many times before.

i might have to leave someone behind like the rest of them. just like before.